Yeah I know whats going through your head right now. You think your so smart, don't ya buddy? Well you know what, forget you. I'm going to say this, and you are going to believe me. Okay? Okay...
So we are wrapping things up for the year. This thing started off as a few guys arguing via email at work about sporting topics. How much work can a blog be, we asked? Write when we get a chance, touch on bits here and there and low and behold things will be easy peasy.
Allas, for the first time, we are wrong. It had to happen at some point. It was the law of averages. Turns out that this blog work is almost like work. Who'd have thunk?
We have dipped our toe in the water. We have had a sip from the giant mug of internets. We now know just what we need to do.
So come back in the new year - we will be back with all your latest Premiership, NFL and MLB news alongside any other writers that we can tempt along for the ride. There will be regular columns. Regular features. Links, for godsake! Oh, it will be a bounty of joy. Hope to see you back here in the new year.
If you don't come back, remember that I know where you sleep. That noise you hear before you go to sleep? Thats me in the bushes. Lurking.
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Saturday, 8 November 2008
The Difference betwix Football and Rugby - Example 1
"Football is a game of gentlemen played by thugs, while rugby is a game of thugs played by gentlemen." - I don't know who said this, but they were right. Want some examples? Okay...
Rugby -
Just now on the England vs Pacific Islands game (I'm sure I'll write about it later on, but FYI the general look of it at the moment is Attack = Brilliant, Defence = Awful) the ref just stared down a monster Pacific Islander, looked him in the white of his eye and went "Hey, that language has no place in this game, I don't want to hear any more of it" which caused the rather large, tatooed, muscular man to retreat with that grin that people use when they want to look like they don't care that someone told them off, but in reality he will be a good little boy.
Football -
Ashley Cole vs Mike Riley. Enough said. However, as all records of this incident have
been stripped from the Internet, enjoy this classic -
Rugby -
Just now on the England vs Pacific Islands game (I'm sure I'll write about it later on, but FYI the general look of it at the moment is Attack = Brilliant, Defence = Awful) the ref just stared down a monster Pacific Islander, looked him in the white of his eye and went "Hey, that language has no place in this game, I don't want to hear any more of it" which caused the rather large, tatooed, muscular man to retreat with that grin that people use when they want to look like they don't care that someone told them off, but in reality he will be a good little boy.
Football -
Ashley Cole vs Mike Riley. Enough said. However, as all records of this incident have
been stripped from the Internet, enjoy this classic -
Arsenal win; Use tactics written off by Year 3 P.E. teachers as immature
I'm not entirely sure how they do it, but Arsenal seem to constantly have Manchester United's number. I can't recall ever going into a game against them feeling confident. Whether it be Gallas turning up in the last minute to fumble in a header\chester\thigher\goiner to some unidentified young French\African player having their 5 minutes of fame and scoring their one and only Premiership goal in amazing fashion, they have our number.
I have a theory. Of course I have a theory. Its not so much a theory as conclusive proof that Wenger isn't so much of a genius as he is a blistering simpleton. It is also disturbing proof that you can pay £25m for a player, pay them £80K per week and have Man Utd fans love them so much that they wring out their favorite players shirt and collect the resulting shirt-juice as some kind of elixir but you can't beat simple playground games.
Arsenal do this kind of rolling keep-away game. Look at them play – there are always 3 of them in this kind of attacking triangle. They then play keep away with whatever Man Utd player is unlucky enough to be stuck in the middle. Yup, one of the top teams in the world is outwitted by Arsenal playing keep-away.
When I play FIFA or Pro-Evo with some of my friends, we use the triangle theory. It works. You can be a novice against the best team on the game on the hardest setting, and it will work. It is simply amazing. Until someone else tried to join in, in which case it was the one and only time the phrase “No, an attacking square doesn't work!” was used. Ever.
I think the point of this is just to say, Mr Ferguson, sir, before you next play Arsenal, how about you play some keep away in training? I know Ronaldo gets all frustrated and sobs and stamps his little feet because he doesn't track back so this whole tackling thing is foreign to him, but still, tell him that he can invite Anderson and Nani over, maybe asking the Da Silva twins over as well, and they can have a big old (alleged) hooker sex party to reward them for their hard work.
I have a theory. Of course I have a theory. Its not so much a theory as conclusive proof that Wenger isn't so much of a genius as he is a blistering simpleton. It is also disturbing proof that you can pay £25m for a player, pay them £80K per week and have Man Utd fans love them so much that they wring out their favorite players shirt and collect the resulting shirt-juice as some kind of elixir but you can't beat simple playground games.
Arsenal do this kind of rolling keep-away game. Look at them play – there are always 3 of them in this kind of attacking triangle. They then play keep away with whatever Man Utd player is unlucky enough to be stuck in the middle. Yup, one of the top teams in the world is outwitted by Arsenal playing keep-away.
When I play FIFA or Pro-Evo with some of my friends, we use the triangle theory. It works. You can be a novice against the best team on the game on the hardest setting, and it will work. It is simply amazing. Until someone else tried to join in, in which case it was the one and only time the phrase “No, an attacking square doesn't work!” was used. Ever.
I think the point of this is just to say, Mr Ferguson, sir, before you next play Arsenal, how about you play some keep away in training? I know Ronaldo gets all frustrated and sobs and stamps his little feet because he doesn't track back so this whole tackling thing is foreign to him, but still, tell him that he can invite Anderson and Nani over, maybe asking the Da Silva twins over as well, and they can have a big old (alleged) hooker sex party to reward them for their hard work.
Thursday, 6 November 2008
What I gots is what I gots
Once again the sporting world has left me relatively little to work with. Sports people of the world - Get out there and screw a stripper, mug someone or punch a pap. Hmm, what is there at the moment...
Lewis Hamilton won, and is once again the most undeserving champion in a world. He is the equivalent of having a relative newbie break into a Premiership team and then, when the team wins the title, demand that he is named club captain. Despite what people believe, F1 is a team sport.
The Tennessee Titans have put something in the water. How they are 8-0 is beyond me, as they are a 10-6 team any day of the week. That said, they are just on this season. Maybe even Superbowl on this evening. You know what its like when you succeed with numerous women, business success and get a huge win in Vegas all at once, don't ya? You don't? Well, imagine that and that is how the Tennessee Pinch-Themselves feel this year.
The Yankees waives two players to get another hugely expensive pitcher. If they didn't then those corporate people who paid with their first born to get a box would feel short changed, as they left in the 7th inning.
Cristiano Ronaldo can't make up his mind if he wants to be an absolute machine like last year, or an overpaid piece of eye candy. Personally, I hope he has a blinding 2 seasons, sell him for €85m after the next World Cup and then buy a few more decent players. But thats just me. I'm special.
Oh and I don't know, now that Pavlik lost this Saturday will obviously be Calzahge's last match. Pay your respects, as you don't often get a nicer, better and more gracious fighters. Plus, if he ever knocks on your door and asks if you watched, what would you tell him?
Lewis Hamilton won, and is once again the most undeserving champion in a world. He is the equivalent of having a relative newbie break into a Premiership team and then, when the team wins the title, demand that he is named club captain. Despite what people believe, F1 is a team sport.
The Tennessee Titans have put something in the water. How they are 8-0 is beyond me, as they are a 10-6 team any day of the week. That said, they are just on this season. Maybe even Superbowl on this evening. You know what its like when you succeed with numerous women, business success and get a huge win in Vegas all at once, don't ya? You don't? Well, imagine that and that is how the Tennessee Pinch-Themselves feel this year.
The Yankees waives two players to get another hugely expensive pitcher. If they didn't then those corporate people who paid with their first born to get a box would feel short changed, as they left in the 7th inning.
Cristiano Ronaldo can't make up his mind if he wants to be an absolute machine like last year, or an overpaid piece of eye candy. Personally, I hope he has a blinding 2 seasons, sell him for €85m after the next World Cup and then buy a few more decent players. But thats just me. I'm special.
Oh and I don't know, now that Pavlik lost this Saturday will obviously be Calzahge's last match. Pay your respects, as you don't often get a nicer, better and more gracious fighters. Plus, if he ever knocks on your door and asks if you watched, what would you tell him?
Monday, 3 November 2008
Wembley Waste
Yeah I know that its off topic. Yeah I know that there are probably better things to worry about, however, I can't help it.
Fuck you Wembley Arena. When they knocked down the stadium and diverted everything to Cardiff for a few years, why not knock you down as well and rebuild you? But no, its a far better idea to just build a load of flats in the front, build a craptacular fountain out back and make the whole space so small that at intervals, before the show and after the show if you are able to take one step at full stride then you must be a midget.
It is an awful, awful arena. I recently went to Madison Square Garden and, wow, that is an arena. It took me about 5 minutes to get in, 5 to get a drink, 5 to get some food at half time and about 2 minutes to get out. Bish, bash, bosh.
Yeah Wembley used to be pretty epic, but with the O2 in town please, get with the times. Just so you know, I will continue to visit you, but only because you are 3 stations down the line from me. I don't love you. At all. Now give daddy a big kiss down there.
Fuck you Wembley Arena. When they knocked down the stadium and diverted everything to Cardiff for a few years, why not knock you down as well and rebuild you? But no, its a far better idea to just build a load of flats in the front, build a craptacular fountain out back and make the whole space so small that at intervals, before the show and after the show if you are able to take one step at full stride then you must be a midget.
It is an awful, awful arena. I recently went to Madison Square Garden and, wow, that is an arena. It took me about 5 minutes to get in, 5 to get a drink, 5 to get some food at half time and about 2 minutes to get out. Bish, bash, bosh.
Yeah Wembley used to be pretty epic, but with the O2 in town please, get with the times. Just so you know, I will continue to visit you, but only because you are 3 stations down the line from me. I don't love you. At all. Now give daddy a big kiss down there.
Saturday, 1 November 2008
Formula One Finale, then off on a tangent, then back again...
So here we are. The culmination of 17 previous races worth of precession intersliced with the odd moment of excitement all boils down to today's finale. It was like an 8 month foreplay session. Anyway, tomorrow is the big day. Will Hamilton finally realise his potential or will Massa become the most undeserving world champion since Villeneuve in 1997?
Well, this isn't going to go down well but, I can't see Hamilton doing it. Don't get me wrong, statistically he is the favourite and Massa is out and out one of the WORST drivers out there, however lets look at Hamilton's track record.
He has had umpteen chances to secure a title, or even grab a big enough gap to be realistically called Champion elect, however every time when the pressure is on, he cracks. Tomorrow he will again have a huge amount of pressure on his shoulders, and I don't think they are broad enough to weather the burden of having to go out and win. He is like that poor ickle nut in a cracker, and he is stuck in a nasty old battle with bestest buddies Massa, Raikkonen and Alonso all either more than happy to hold him up, take him out or (most likely) force him into a mistake.
That said, it would be a crying shame if Massa won a World Championship. The guy just isn't a good driver, and by that I mean he is inconsistent, can only win from pole and can't overtake. He is only where he is because of the big, shiny and red Ferrari that he sits in. He doesn't deserve a title.
Hamilton is an odd figure in Formula One. He has exploded onto the scene, proving his speed and skill in the junior formulas and then jumping straight to the top of the dogpile in Formula One. He also isn't a part of the Grand Prix Drivers Association, rubs people the wrong way at times and in a sport where back room agreements and political wrangling can change results on the track just as much as a blown tyre, he isn't making many friends outside of McClaren. They are all very happy and friendly to each other, but in the big wide world McClaren and Hamilton aren't popular.
Traditionally. The F1 world champion has been a part, and a Director, or the GPDA. It happened last year when Kimi Raikkonen, who decided he didn't want to be a part of the GPDA fan club, and this year it is set to happen again.
What with the Concorde agreement controversy, McClaren and Ferrari often at odds with the other, more balanced teams and now with 2 of the top 4 drivers (Kubica and, unfortunately, Massa being the other two) being non-Association, the back room dealings in Formula One are going to get interesting. And not good interesting.
There isn't a winner from tomorrows race. Either Hamilton wins, and it deepens the splits and jealousy in Formula One, or Massa wins and a boring, bad driver in an exceptionally well suited car wins.
Next year, though, with Alonso probably doing another year an Renault and BMW Sauber getting Kubica 3rd in the drivers standings despite spending most of this year developing next years car, looks like it will be a vast improvement.
So, bring on next year and pile your cash on Hamilton and Alonso to have a collision on the first corner. You read it here first, folks.
Well, this isn't going to go down well but, I can't see Hamilton doing it. Don't get me wrong, statistically he is the favourite and Massa is out and out one of the WORST drivers out there, however lets look at Hamilton's track record.
He has had umpteen chances to secure a title, or even grab a big enough gap to be realistically called Champion elect, however every time when the pressure is on, he cracks. Tomorrow he will again have a huge amount of pressure on his shoulders, and I don't think they are broad enough to weather the burden of having to go out and win. He is like that poor ickle nut in a cracker, and he is stuck in a nasty old battle with bestest buddies Massa, Raikkonen and Alonso all either more than happy to hold him up, take him out or (most likely) force him into a mistake.
That said, it would be a crying shame if Massa won a World Championship. The guy just isn't a good driver, and by that I mean he is inconsistent, can only win from pole and can't overtake. He is only where he is because of the big, shiny and red Ferrari that he sits in. He doesn't deserve a title.
Hamilton is an odd figure in Formula One. He has exploded onto the scene, proving his speed and skill in the junior formulas and then jumping straight to the top of the dogpile in Formula One. He also isn't a part of the Grand Prix Drivers Association, rubs people the wrong way at times and in a sport where back room agreements and political wrangling can change results on the track just as much as a blown tyre, he isn't making many friends outside of McClaren. They are all very happy and friendly to each other, but in the big wide world McClaren and Hamilton aren't popular.
Traditionally. The F1 world champion has been a part, and a Director, or the GPDA. It happened last year when Kimi Raikkonen, who decided he didn't want to be a part of the GPDA fan club, and this year it is set to happen again.
What with the Concorde agreement controversy, McClaren and Ferrari often at odds with the other, more balanced teams and now with 2 of the top 4 drivers (Kubica and, unfortunately, Massa being the other two) being non-Association, the back room dealings in Formula One are going to get interesting. And not good interesting.
There isn't a winner from tomorrows race. Either Hamilton wins, and it deepens the splits and jealousy in Formula One, or Massa wins and a boring, bad driver in an exceptionally well suited car wins.
Next year, though, with Alonso probably doing another year an Renault and BMW Sauber getting Kubica 3rd in the drivers standings despite spending most of this year developing next years car, looks like it will be a vast improvement.
So, bring on next year and pile your cash on Hamilton and Alonso to have a collision on the first corner. You read it here first, folks.
Stamford Super Stupidity
Stamford Super Stupidity
The match isn't over yet, but I'm going to pole vault to a conclusion here.
Good god that was a horrific piece of horribleness. That was just like watching a train wreck. I'm actually urging the Stamford troupe to hit sixes just so our lads get a complete anal raping in the press this week.
I think I can guarantee that this won't be going on next year. Or, if it does, it won't be with England. This is an embarassment. Cricket is at a crossroads, has been for a few years and will be for a few years more. Trying to get the right balance between traditional test cricket and exciting, young-person-watching and TV-rating-grabbing 20/20 and One Day cricket is a hard task. But, if I may be so bold, I don't think sending the national team to be the playthings of a Chad Ocho Cinco crazy billionaire to watch them get beaten by a best of the Caribbean XI while he molests their wives is the right answer.
Just saying....
The match isn't over yet, but I'm going to pole vault to a conclusion here.
Good god that was a horrific piece of horribleness. That was just like watching a train wreck. I'm actually urging the Stamford troupe to hit sixes just so our lads get a complete anal raping in the press this week.
I think I can guarantee that this won't be going on next year. Or, if it does, it won't be with England. This is an embarassment. Cricket is at a crossroads, has been for a few years and will be for a few years more. Trying to get the right balance between traditional test cricket and exciting, young-person-watching and TV-rating-grabbing 20/20 and One Day cricket is a hard task. But, if I may be so bold, I don't think sending the national team to be the playthings of a Chad Ocho Cinco crazy billionaire to watch them get beaten by a best of the Caribbean XI while he molests their wives is the right answer.
Just saying....
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
UFC 90: Knee cracking fun for all the family!
Unlike my penis, I’ve been unwilling to touch this. But I thought I would be brave and go for it. Wish me luck, this is my first time.
I’m relatively new to watching MMA (well I say MMA, that’s purely because I don’t want to seem like a UFC fan boy) on a regular basis. I’ve started more and more recently reading up on some of the fighter’s bios, following fight build up and, since Setanta took over the coverage, started watching the live events.
I say this, despite missing a large chunk of UFC 90 last weekend due to being out in London, and missing the entirety of UFC 89 as I was on holiday. But, like oh so many things on this site that have threatened to undermine me in the past, we are ignoring that.
I want to focus on the Silva vs. Cotte Middleweight Championship match at UFC 90. It was a highly anticipated fight as Cotte is a dangerous fighter and Silva is, pound for pound, easily in the top 5 MMA fighters ever. The ending, however, was really quite bizarre.
Cotte was struggling a little with a sore looking leg. Nothing major, just the odd flinch. Then he jumped forward just to do a little measuring kick and when he landed, in truly gross fashion, he knee went bang. Needless to say he wasn’t best pleased. Neither, it appears, were the fans.
In all fairness, Silva being the true sport he is didn’t celebrate a victory and now is absolutely begging Dana White to stick him on the next UFC card. It won’t happen, as that is just 3 weeks away and finding someone to go in against an athlete of the calibre of Silva would be suicidal, but it is a nice sentiment.
It will be interesting to see how the UFC handles this one. On one hand, you could easily dismiss it as “Oh well, that’s how the fight ended. Now excuse me, I need to go roll about in all of these millions of dollars I just made” but, at a time when other MMA organisations, such as the recently closed down EliteXC, are dragging the sport through the mud, it would be nice to see the UFC stand up like the market leader it is and make a gesture to the fans. Even if it is just returning to that arena sooner rather than later and offering any ticket holders to that match a 5% discount, or free beer and nachos combo, or something. They don’t need to, I agree, but it would be nice. Us fans shell out a lot to watch these guys, and all we ask in return are some free beer and nachos. You bastards.
Also, as it just sprung into my mind as I was writing this, I want to draw your attention to something. The UFC is by far the market leader in the Western World for MMA. Affliction may have a decent clothing line and co-promote a few cards, and you have K1 in Japan, but UFC is pretty much synonymous with MMA these days.
Now I know that this is a harsh comparison, but lets compare the UFC with the WWE (that be World Wrestling Federation for all you non wrastlin’ fans). Back in the day, so basically the entire 90’s, you had the Monday Night Wars – WWE vs. WCW. Two companies at war vying for the fans attention – and cash. The matches were better, the product was more exciting and the fans were loyal. Now days, it is predominantly watched by 10 year olds who just love John Cena, think he is the bestest, and have no clue who is coming out when they here the glass smash and that familiar riff of “Dun dun dun dergh dun dun”.
But I digress. I know that the two companies can’t be compared, as UFC is a genuine, ultra competitive MMA company and pro wresting is the by product of what happens when you make a bastard child out of Gladiators, Gymnastics, Home and Away and steroids. I’m just saying that, imagine if Affliction and UFC became equal as super powers in the MMA world. How exciting would that make it all?
I’m relatively new to watching MMA (well I say MMA, that’s purely because I don’t want to seem like a UFC fan boy) on a regular basis. I’ve started more and more recently reading up on some of the fighter’s bios, following fight build up and, since Setanta took over the coverage, started watching the live events.
I say this, despite missing a large chunk of UFC 90 last weekend due to being out in London, and missing the entirety of UFC 89 as I was on holiday. But, like oh so many things on this site that have threatened to undermine me in the past, we are ignoring that.
I want to focus on the Silva vs. Cotte Middleweight Championship match at UFC 90. It was a highly anticipated fight as Cotte is a dangerous fighter and Silva is, pound for pound, easily in the top 5 MMA fighters ever. The ending, however, was really quite bizarre.
Cotte was struggling a little with a sore looking leg. Nothing major, just the odd flinch. Then he jumped forward just to do a little measuring kick and when he landed, in truly gross fashion, he knee went bang. Needless to say he wasn’t best pleased. Neither, it appears, were the fans.
In all fairness, Silva being the true sport he is didn’t celebrate a victory and now is absolutely begging Dana White to stick him on the next UFC card. It won’t happen, as that is just 3 weeks away and finding someone to go in against an athlete of the calibre of Silva would be suicidal, but it is a nice sentiment.
It will be interesting to see how the UFC handles this one. On one hand, you could easily dismiss it as “Oh well, that’s how the fight ended. Now excuse me, I need to go roll about in all of these millions of dollars I just made” but, at a time when other MMA organisations, such as the recently closed down EliteXC, are dragging the sport through the mud, it would be nice to see the UFC stand up like the market leader it is and make a gesture to the fans. Even if it is just returning to that arena sooner rather than later and offering any ticket holders to that match a 5% discount, or free beer and nachos combo, or something. They don’t need to, I agree, but it would be nice. Us fans shell out a lot to watch these guys, and all we ask in return are some free beer and nachos. You bastards.
Also, as it just sprung into my mind as I was writing this, I want to draw your attention to something. The UFC is by far the market leader in the Western World for MMA. Affliction may have a decent clothing line and co-promote a few cards, and you have K1 in Japan, but UFC is pretty much synonymous with MMA these days.
Now I know that this is a harsh comparison, but lets compare the UFC with the WWE (that be World Wrestling Federation for all you non wrastlin’ fans). Back in the day, so basically the entire 90’s, you had the Monday Night Wars – WWE vs. WCW. Two companies at war vying for the fans attention – and cash. The matches were better, the product was more exciting and the fans were loyal. Now days, it is predominantly watched by 10 year olds who just love John Cena, think he is the bestest, and have no clue who is coming out when they here the glass smash and that familiar riff of “Dun dun dun dergh dun dun”.
But I digress. I know that the two companies can’t be compared, as UFC is a genuine, ultra competitive MMA company and pro wresting is the by product of what happens when you make a bastard child out of Gladiators, Gymnastics, Home and Away and steroids. I’m just saying that, imagine if Affliction and UFC became equal as super powers in the MMA world. How exciting would that make it all?
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
World Series of Not Caring
So, I thought I would touch on the World Series. The reason that I haven’t looked at it previously is, frankly, I just don’t care. I’ve gone on about this previously, you know. Although I want to see the plucky Tampa Bay Rays finally come to something and reach the Holy Grail of Baseball in the 10 long years since the team debuted (don’t that make the Chicago Cubs look even more pathetic?) I just can’t get into it.
Philadelphia, at least in the UK, aren’t a well shown covered team with the program managers here preferring to show every Red Sox, Yankee, Cubs, White Sox and (for some odd reason) Detroit Tigers games under the sun. Because of this, I just don’t care about them either.
What it comes down to, is I’ve discovered an extension on a traditional British sentiment. We Brits all love the plucky underdog. Why else would the FA Cup exist? Why else do they let Andorra play in the World Cup qualifiers? However, we are used to seeing the plucky underdog undergo a heroic defeat and have them walk off just happy to have been there. When you keep winning, you stop being an underdog. Take note, Rays, for your underdog ways are turning against you.
The Rays used to be like that, watching them scrap and scrape their way through with all the tenacity of a fox licking shit off a wire brush. But, then they didn’t quite get the message. They went from a hot streak to a hot season, humbling teams who were, on paper, much better. That just ruined the example of plucky little Rays, who went from last season being statistically the worst team in MLB to this season the best. They are then expected to win.
Imagine, if you will, a very pretty and buxom blonde girl who enjoys playing dumb to get her own way. Say you wander out of the supermarket and find her struggling with two trolley loads and not quite being able to use the self service checkout. You think you will do your good deed for the day and help her, of course secretly hoping that she does your good deed, if you know what I mean. So you wander over and she sweetly tells you she can’t possibly figure it all out, all while batting her eyelids, so you offer to show her how to use it. As soon as you swipe that first item she then pulls out her mobile to speak to her scumbag boyfriend telling him that she has gotten “some guy” to pack her shopping, at which the meathead with an IQ lower than the room temperature feels like you have invaded his property, comes down there and thwacks you one right on the nose, which of course makes your eyes water and so then everyone laughs at you and calls you a sissy. Now, imagine the next week you do the exact same thing again and again.
That is why I hate the Rays all of a sudden. They are just like that blonde haired buxom girl who at first flutters their eyelashes, but then after a significant amount of fluttering it is expected. People still make out like they are on some dream run to the World Series. No, that was the Giants going to last years SuperBowl. They squeaked into the playoffs and were pushed all of the way. The Rays have, aside from a wobble against the Sox in the ALCS, dominated all season. Now they need "luck" and "havoc" and "a miracle" to win? Please. They are winners, they are just back to last season's form. Stop going back to the fluttering eyed buxom blonde and get away from the Rays honey trap. They are who they are - winners. Drop the idea that they are still this plucky little team.
Now, if you excuse me, I need more therapy.
Nurse!
Philadelphia, at least in the UK, aren’t a well shown covered team with the program managers here preferring to show every Red Sox, Yankee, Cubs, White Sox and (for some odd reason) Detroit Tigers games under the sun. Because of this, I just don’t care about them either.
What it comes down to, is I’ve discovered an extension on a traditional British sentiment. We Brits all love the plucky underdog. Why else would the FA Cup exist? Why else do they let Andorra play in the World Cup qualifiers? However, we are used to seeing the plucky underdog undergo a heroic defeat and have them walk off just happy to have been there. When you keep winning, you stop being an underdog. Take note, Rays, for your underdog ways are turning against you.
The Rays used to be like that, watching them scrap and scrape their way through with all the tenacity of a fox licking shit off a wire brush. But, then they didn’t quite get the message. They went from a hot streak to a hot season, humbling teams who were, on paper, much better. That just ruined the example of plucky little Rays, who went from last season being statistically the worst team in MLB to this season the best. They are then expected to win.
Imagine, if you will, a very pretty and buxom blonde girl who enjoys playing dumb to get her own way. Say you wander out of the supermarket and find her struggling with two trolley loads and not quite being able to use the self service checkout. You think you will do your good deed for the day and help her, of course secretly hoping that she does your good deed, if you know what I mean. So you wander over and she sweetly tells you she can’t possibly figure it all out, all while batting her eyelids, so you offer to show her how to use it. As soon as you swipe that first item she then pulls out her mobile to speak to her scumbag boyfriend telling him that she has gotten “some guy” to pack her shopping, at which the meathead with an IQ lower than the room temperature feels like you have invaded his property, comes down there and thwacks you one right on the nose, which of course makes your eyes water and so then everyone laughs at you and calls you a sissy. Now, imagine the next week you do the exact same thing again and again.
That is why I hate the Rays all of a sudden. They are just like that blonde haired buxom girl who at first flutters their eyelashes, but then after a significant amount of fluttering it is expected. People still make out like they are on some dream run to the World Series. No, that was the Giants going to last years SuperBowl. They squeaked into the playoffs and were pushed all of the way. The Rays have, aside from a wobble against the Sox in the ALCS, dominated all season. Now they need "luck" and "havoc" and "a miracle" to win? Please. They are winners, they are just back to last season's form. Stop going back to the fluttering eyed buxom blonde and get away from the Rays honey trap. They are who they are - winners. Drop the idea that they are still this plucky little team.
Now, if you excuse me, I need more therapy.
Nurse!
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